How to look after your mental health at Christmas
It has been an “annus horribilis” year and with Christmas now upon us, there are more challenges and emotions to deal with. While many people enjoy this time of year, for many it brings more pressure on our time and money, while others experience loneliness and grief. This time of year is proven to increase our stress and anxiety. So, let’s look at how you can manage the various stressors and look after your mental health at Christmas.
Relationship Stress
Christmas means that you spend more time with family members that you would not usually spend time with, for whatever reason. This is unavoidable but there are strategies you can use to help reduce your stress. Be aware of topics that are likely to cause arguments and have a few neutral topics prepared that you can talk about. After the initial greeting, you don’t have to make conversation with certain people that annoy you and if you do, you can quickly excuse yourself by saying you need to get more food, help with cleaning up, etc.
Emotional Stress
Christmas for many is a time of loneliness and grief. It is when most people spend time with family and friends, however, if you have lost a loved one or you are estranged from your family, this can be a very lonely time of year. If you are feeling lonely, reach out to friends and let them know that you would like to see them. Perhaps you could create your own experience by suggesting having an “orphan Christmas party” where anyone who doesn’t have someone to spend Christmas with, can drop in, bring a plate of food to share and feel connected again.
If you a grieving a loved one, Christmas can heighten your feelings of grief, loss and sadness. Remember it’s ok to feel like this. You can honour your loved one’s memory by talking about them, looking at photos and reminiscing about the time you had together. If you wish to spend the day alone, that is ok but try to do something you may enjoy such as going for a drive or immersing yourself in a good book.
Environmental Stress
These are generally stressors that are not always within our control. They include planning and/or attending Christmas parties, going shopping for groceries and Christmas presents. The best way to manage these stressors is to allocate tasks to various people or do as much shopping as possible online.
Financial Stress
Financial stressors can be managed by setting a budget for presents or better still talk to family and friends about not giving gifts this year, set a limit on spending or reducing the amount of presents you need to buy. If you are hosting the Christmas party this year, ask people to “bring a plate”. Remember that many people have lost their jobs or had their hours cut back so their income will be reduced. 2020 has taught us that people and connection are far more important than presents.
Social Anxiety
If you have social anxiety or just don’t like parties, Christmas can be a very stressful time. Not everyone enjoys parties, especially if they are shy. Instead of being fun and enjoyable, these parties can be completely overwhelming. It is ok to say no to an invitation, however, if you feel that you must attend, plan to just go for one or two hours. If you are enjoying yourself, you can always stay for longer. Also, try to limit your alcohol as rather than relaxing you it can make you more stressed.
If you really don’t want to attend but would like to catch up with the person who invited you, suggest meeting them for a coffee or lunch instead.
Reinvent Christmas
Remember that you don’t have to do Christmas a certain way. We often continue traditions that we remember as a child, but if that doesn’t work for you now, you can change it! Sit down with pen and paper and work out what parts of Christmas (if any) that you enjoy and what you don’t enjoy. Start by asking yourself the following questions:
- Who do you want to spend Christmas with?
- Do you want to attend work Christmas events?
- Do you want to put up a Christmas tree and all the decorations?
- Is the traditional hot meal in an Australian summer what you really want to eat?
No matter what all the media says, there is no right or wrong way to do Christmas – it is just the way you want to do it.
Remember Christmas Day is only one day of the year!!
If you are struggling with any of these issues and want to talk to a counsellor, I specialise in grief and loss and anxiety counselling. You can find out more by visiting my home page or by contacting me here