Why January is a great month for making hard decisions

New Years’ celebrations may have seemed like ages ago now but the reality is, it’s been less than four weeks since we saw in 2019. It’s natural that as the year unfolds and our daily commitments and pressures start to settle back in after some time off, the twinkle in your eye that was there on 1 January can start to fade a little by the end of the month! While the idea of change can be exciting, the process itself can be daunting which can stop you in your tracks from moving forward. 

 

But new beginnings bring new opportunities, and those opportunities only come when you are looking out for them. So as we get ready to welcome in February, I want to remind you why the goals or resolutions you may have set just a few short weeks ago still matter, and why it’s time to take charge of your life now so that you’re not still in this same position 12 months from now.

Career / Employment

One in two Australian workers are unhappy at work but only a handful of people at any one time are actively looking to change their circumstance.

 

If you work full time, chances are you’re spending 40-50 hours at the office, engrained in emails and spreadsheets, caring for others or doing back breaking work, and you’re probably at work just as much as you are at home! Because we spend so much of our lives working – if you’re unhappy or stressed in your job then it’s going to spill over into your home life and personal relationships, and possibly cause mental or physical health concerns.

 

Why spend so much of your time unhappy and stressed?

 

I know you have bills to pay and most people can’t just quit on a whim, but if you are over workplace conflict, bullying, undue stress and pressure or you’re simply just not fulfilled, then January is a great time to plan your exit strategy.  In fact, you’re not alone – it turns out there are more job searches in January than any other time of year!

• Think about what it is that will make you happier – is it a new industry or a new team?
• Do you need more support or less than you’re currently getting?
• Are you utilising your strengths?

 

When you know what you need, you’ll be able to start making inroads into achieving this. You are never stuck. Yes, it might take months or even years if it involves studying or upskilling, but if you don’t start the process now, then you’re delaying the chance to welcome new opportunities into your life.

 

Experience has shown me that once you open your mindset to new opportunities, they can start appearing in so many forms.

 

It might be a conversation that leads to realising your true passion or calling, it might be an idea to start your own business, or you might meet someone looking to hire in a role you could see yourself doing but never thought of previously….but until you accept you are open to change, you won’t see any of these as opportunities.

 

You don’t have to make a big move in one huge step. Smaller transitions such as dropping from full time to part time can reap huge benefits, as can volunteering with a favourite charity or asking to move your desk away or not be rostered on with a toxic colleague. 

 

Relationships and Friendships

Detaching from a job is one thing. Parting ways with someone that you’ve shared so many amazing moments with, who’s seen you at your worst and loved you anyway, and who understands how you tick can be awfully heartbreaking and even debilitating.

 

Whether it’s an intimate relationship, a family member or a friend, if this relationship has been toxic, one-sided, unhealthy, demoralising or unsatisfying, then you need to weigh up the impact this relationship has on you.

 

Do you want to go another 10, 20 or 30 years feeling this way?

 

If you’ve stayed in an unhappy relationship to see Christmas through for the kids or hang on to an upcoming birthday or anniversary to lessen the blow, then it’s worth realising that every day you’re unhappy is one less day of living the life you want. January can bring with it a sense of new beginnings and possibilities, so I encourage you to leverage this mindset to make positive changes in your life.

 

We hold on to toxic or loveless relationships because the unfamiliar is scarier, or we think leaving is selfish or worse if kids are involved. On the contrary, research has shown that 8 in 10 youth aged 14-22 say parents should not stay together for the kids’ sake, and often come to realise later that divorce or separation was the best outcome.

 

Separating from a partner, family member or friend doesn’t have to be a dramatic affair. Emotions and behaviour will determine how smooth the transition is, so it’s important to communicate during this time so everyone involved understands the reasons for the breakdown (sometimes this means searching inward for your own reasons, as what you think on the surface may actually be a cover for something deeper) and the expectations moving forward.

 

Don’t forget that while relationship breakdowns or breakups are extremely upsetting and life altering, time really does heal everything. Don’t deny yourself years of happiness for the temporary fear of anger, hurt or guilt. 

 

Making big decisions

Decision making is tough at the best of times –deciding over something as simple as Thai or Indian or holidaying at the Gold Coast or Sunshine Coast can really torment some people, so deciding to leave a career that brings in an income or a relationship with someone that you may still love dearly (or know that they love you), isn’t a decision to make lightly.

 

But I do urge you to use this time of year, of new beginnings, to really consider the areas of your life that aren’t bringing you happiness or that are worse, causing you physical or mental health concerns. Once you identify a toxic job or relationship, then you can start to work towards an exit strategy. In my appointments, when someone is facing a huge decision like these, we explore the reasons why you’re procrastinating and all the possible outcomes of that decision – who it impacts and how and what life would be like if you stayed where you are now. Having a professional counsellor in the room with you can not only offer you an objective outlook, but we can make sure that when you make your decision, you make it with confidence and conviction, knowing you’ve chosen to make this decision over all the other options available. You can know the decision you made was the right one for you in this moment.

 

Book your confidential appointment today and start your decision-making process to lead you toward the happiness you deserve.