Better YOUR Balance this International Women’s Day

Four areas in life to improve balance in

For 24 hours, the world’s spotlight is on women’s issues thanks to International Women’s Day. So let’s make the most of it! From where I sit as a counsellor, I see every day that while every situation is unique, there are definite patterns women present at various stages of life. Putting themselves, their needs, their desires and sometimes even their safety last, sits right at the top of the list.

I’m going to take this platform I have here today, and share my advice and hopes so that more women recognise their worth and take action to create greater balance in their lives. Balance is healthy. Balance brings stability.

Balance Work and Home

There’s no shortage of literature and advice saying we need to find a greater work-life balance. But it’s easier said than done, and the women I see who are burned out, stressed and fatigued are testament to this. No one wants to feel sub-par or behind the 8-ball, but the fact is, when our lives are skewed towards work, deadlines, KPIs, sales targets, managing clients and proving our worth day in and day out, something’s got to fall over, and it’s either going to be work or home that takes the brunt of that – sometimes both.

The opposite can also be true too. For example, mothers who have taken a sabbatical from their career to raise children can, after a few years of being a stay at home mum, shy away from returning to the workforce for any number of reasons. It could be that they genuinely love being home with the kids or they could be fearful of being out of touch with current workplace practices, but the reality is, work keeps us stimulated, evokes a sense of belonging and worth, encourages adult interaction and conversation, challenges us with problem solving and allows us to contribute financially to the household. If it can fit in with the complexities of raising a family, a casual, part time or full time job can be highly advantageous for women.

Balance Strategy: Plan time in your diary so that you work on both work and home activities across the day or week, and if the term ‘workaholic’ sounds like you, commit to not opening an email until 9am or after 6pm so that you dedicate time away from work, allowing you to focus on other areas of your life. If going the whole week sounds impossible, start with just two days a week and increase by a day every fortnight.

Balance Family and Self

Whether you’re a mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, godmother, friend or neighbour, as a woman it’s likely you spend a great deal of your time giving your energy to those around you. This isn’t a bad thing at all. Socialisation actually releases oxytocin and serotonin – the happy, feel good chemicals that give us a glowing buzz!

But when time around family and close friends becomes an inconvenience or a burden, it can cause feelings of stress, conflict, frustration and guilt, which can all domino into your every day life. To ensure you can continue to be there emotionally or intellectually for your family, it’s important to fill your own cup first, much like an adult is asked to put the oxygen mask on themselves before a child in the event of an emergency on a plane.  

Balance Strategy: To get to this state, you need to raise your own oxytocin and serotonin levels through doing things that make you happy. This could be gardening, cooking, shopping… whatever it is that brings you joy even when nobody else is around. This time on your own can help you enjoy a state of mindfulness or being in the moment, which are great positive mental health boosters.

Balance Head, Heart and Gut

This is a tricky one but with practice, you really can listen to what your body is telling you! Many people say listen to your gut every time, but the reality is, they all play a part in helping you make decisions and navigate through life at various times.

Your head can help you make smart financial choices, solve complex problems, provide a good list of pros and cons to weigh up and remind you of past experiences or knowledge you have to inform your choices. Your heart on the other hand can help you identify how you feel about someone or something and confirm that a head based decision is the right one, and your gut can either warn you or reassure you.

Always listening to just your gut, just your heart or just your head means you ignore other signs and signals your body is trying to tell you. Studies have suggested that women really do have a sixth sense or intuition that helps us identify what’s really going on even if no words are spoken, so tap into it!

Balance Strategy: For every major decision you have to make, ask yourself what your head, heart and gut are telling you. Really listen and feel how your body reacts when you tune into that part.

I’d say about 90 percent of my clients are female, and a lack of balance in these departments as well as heavily skewed negative self talk are some of the top barriers preventing them to move forward.

If you’re feeling like you aren’t paying enough attention to one or more areas of your life, a session at Lifestyle Counselling Services can help remind you what you’re missing and show you ways to get back there, without impacting on the areas that are taking your focus right now (because we don’t want you picking up one ball only to drop another!)