With winter now firmly behind us, everything is starting to awaken, bloom, blossom and buzz. Spring is finally here, and with it comes an opportunity to de-clutter our homes and our lives. It can also give us the chance to focus on the emotional and intimacy clutter we may have with our partner, or any unresolved issues with friends and colleagues. We need to find a way to let go of the things that are not beneficial to our relationship and boost them with new energy.
Why spring clean your relationship
The task of spring cleaning can be a little daunting. It comes around every year, but for some reason it never seems to get any easier. We have a habit of putting ‘stuff’ in the cupboard and shutting the door to try and forget about the mess. Out of sight, out of mind, right?! But it doesn’t go away – it just sits there waiting for us to summon up the mental strength to deal with it.
The same applies to spring cleaning your relationship, although arguably these relationships are far more important than a cluttered cupboard! We Kon-Marie everything else in our lives, but we often forget the stuff that matters most. The resentful feelings we hold on to, the hurt or the misunderstandings we may have experienced, can all begin to mentally drag us down and, in their place, we put up walls to protect ourselves. Spring cleaning your relationshipallows you to break down these walls so you can gain more focus, clarity and attention on what truly matters most to you.
Here are six ways to spring clean your relationship
1. Get active
The days are getting longer, brighter and warmer and with it comes a renewed energy to get out and about both on your own, or with your partner. Go for a walk / run in the sunshine, try a new hobby, sign up and train for something that pushes you both out of your comfort zones. With it will bring a new energy to your relationship, even better if it includes an aspect of teamwork.
Communication is the foundation of any relationship, so it is really important to make time every day for quality conversations. Use spring as another opportunity to be open, honest and humble. Apologise if you are in the wrong (no matter how much time has passed) or ask for an apology if you have been hurt. The more you talk things through together, the more you learn and the deeper the relationship grows.
Talking and keeping the lines of communication open are important, but it is only effective if both parties are listening. Try and understand where your partner is coming from, compromise with each other and always speak respectfully to one another.
4. Give gratitude and compliments
Make an effort to actively see the positives in your partner and compliment him/her on their actions or appearance. Notice the good instead of focusing on the not so good, it will help to make the effort to shift to a more positive (and reinforcing) cycle of support and gratitude for each other.
5. De-clutter and organise
What is in the way of spending quality time together? Is it working too hard? Kids commitments? By taking stock of what is taking priority in your lives, you can re-prioritise and shift the focus back, without sacrificing all your other commitments.
6. Try couples counselling
The most common mistake couples make is seeking help when it’s too late. Couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before seeking counselling. Usually by then, resentment has built up and one person in the relationship has already given up. Couples counselling can be a positive experience that works to help open the lines of communication, but only if it isn’t a last-minute resort.
Relationships are meant to feel good, provide us with support and bring out the best in each other. However, it isn’t always like that. All relationships require care, focus and attention but by being mindful of our actions and behaviours, we can put the spring back in our relationship step.