What Women Want: Equality

As a counsellor, gender equality and pay parity aren’t really areas I can claim to be an expert in as part of the discussion around International Women’s Day (IWD). But as a counsellor specialising in women’s wellness, there are a number of subjects I’m privy to having experience with that I think well and truly play into the curriculum of IWD 2020.

For every outcome that we demand (women and men alike), we need to identify the actions that we can control within these parameters. We can, as a society, demand better pay and greater equality from our peers, but how can we take this from the narrative that we tell through our work, to the tangible shift that is required to see change?

We need to start believing in equality, not just asking for it

Economics professor Linda Babcock is the co-author of a book called “Women Don’t Ask“. In her research, she found:

• men are four times more likely than women to ask for a raise
• when they do ask for a raise, women ask for 30% less than men do
• 12.5% of women negotiate a given salary compared with 52% of men

So, the conversation around equal pay and women’s rights in the workplace is as much around developing self-confidence and self-esteem in women as it is to spark change in the corporate, government and community sectors. There’s an old adage that says charity starts at home, and while this cause is far from being considered a charity case, the sentiment is testament to the fact that to effect change externally, we each need to effect it internally.

Developing the skills and beliefs to effect change

Self-esteem and self-confidence are a learned trait; none of us are born with it. As a result, some women have fine-tuned their skills while others have gone through their entire adult lives having never really developed these attributes. And the problem with this is the domino effect it has on our decisions, behaviours, conversations and beliefs. If we don’t believe we are worthy of more, we are going to settle for what we have. When we settle for what we have, we draw a line in the sand around our expectations, and it’s this line that outsiders see.

Asking for what we want

When you know your self-worth and the value you bring to your workplace, family and friendship circles, then it’s time to ask for what you deserve – whether that’s better hours, increased pay, a change in responsibilities or whatever it is that’s causing friction with your self-identity.

I don’t know if it’s from when little girls were told to ‘act like ladies’ in the formative years, or if antiquated values are still lingering in households where women are meant to be seen and not heard, but collectively, we have a real problem with speaking up. In fact, one study conducted by Brigham Young University and Princeton found that men are dominating 75% of the conversation in meetings across businesses in all sectors.

If women want equality in the workplace, then we need to communicate it. We need to speak up.

To shift the line in the sand forward…to raise the bar… to break the glass ceiling…. as women we need to raise our own standards. We need to believe in what we’re asking for and stick to our guns. And that can’t be faked. That must come from within.

Want some tips on how to develop your self-confidence? I’ve listed some actions you can take here.