12 Days of Christmas – Self Care
Christmas is supposed to be the season to be merry but for many of us it is a season of stress and anxiety. It can also be a time of loneliness particularly if you have recently lost a loved one or your loved one is away. It is also a time of shopping for food and presents, and not to mention the work Christmas parties and Secret Santas. So I believe this is also the season to be giving yourself the gift of some self care to get you through the silly season.
First day of Christmas I give a gift to me – A Stress Free Christmas Season
Here are my tips to help you get through the silly season with a little less stress and anxiety and more self care.
- Be realistic about buying the perfect gift or hosting the perfect Christmas lunch or dinner.
- Write down everything that you have to do and everything you have to buy. That way, you won’t forget anything and it is a good feeling when you cross things off your list.
- Stick to a budget when food and present shopping. Decide on a budget and stick to it.
- Don’t shop until you drop. Try to get as much shopping done before December or do it online.
- Don’t overindulge as this can add to your stress and guilt. With all the parties, there will be lots of temptations of sugary foods and alcohol. Take small portions of these but try to stick with “real” foods.
- Take a breather from it all. Try to set aside even 15 minutes a day without distractions to clear your mind and slow down your breathing.
- Don’t feel you have to see everyone in December leading up to Christmas. Schedule some of the socialising in January. It is a good way to get rid of all the excess food from Christmas and it also gives you and everyone else more breathing space.
Second day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Happy Christmas Memories
Christmas can be a time of grief for some and a time to mourn loved ones. If someone close to you has recently died, it is normal to feel grief and sadness. Don’t feel obliged to be all happy and cheery just because it’s the silly season. Allow yourself time to cry and reminisce.
Christmas is also difficult if you have loved ones interstate or overseas and due to lockdown or border closures you can’t see them, or even if you are estranged from your family.
Some families have traditions that don’t serve them well anymore. How many of us grew up with a traditional hot Christmas lunch? That is great if you live in England but here in sunny Queensland where Christmas Day is generally 35 degrees, it makes more sense to be eating prawns, salads, fresh fruit and pavlovas.
Christmas can also be a time to make new memories and traditions. It is important to enjoy your life and make your own memories. Many years ago, when I was single, a very dear friend of mine used to host an “Orphan Christmas lunch”. This was for all her single friends or friends that did not have family around. We would gather around, have a lovely lunch, exchange small gifts, swim in her pool and then relax for the afternoon. It was a great time and helped many of us get through what would have been a difficult day.
So today, work out what traditions still work for you. Work out what is important to you and look at starting some new traditions and creating happy memories.
Third day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Three Things to be Grateful for
There is a heap of research out there proving the many psychological benefits of being grateful. Expressing gratitude on a daily basis can improve your physical health, your quality of sleep, it can make you feel happier and can lower stress and anxiety.
Being grateful encourages optimism and gives us a more positive outlook on life. Studies have shown that people who are grateful are more optimistic, resilient and emotionally healthy.
Amongst all the doom and gloom we hear about, we have plenty to be grateful for. Some things I am grateful for are:
- My health
- Having a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in at night
- Having fresh drinking water available
- Having plenty of food so I am never hungry
- My fur baby
- My family and friends
- I’m alive!!
So why not stop and smell the roses and start a gratitude journal today.
Fourth day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Four “No” Declarations
Don’t feel obliged to say yes to everything. If you don’t want to do something, go somewhere or don’t have the time, say NO.
We have all at some stage suffered from the “disease to please” syndrome. Saying yes to everything is a good way to add stress to your life. Sometimes you may feel obliged to say yes as everyone else has said yes but as my mother used to always say “if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?”
Saying NO does not make you a bad person. The word NO is very powerful.
If you want to take control and feel empowered but have trouble saying NO, here are some ways to help you:
- Be direct. Say “no, I can’t” or “no, I don’t want to”.
- Be polite. Say “thanks for asking but I can’t.”
- Don’t apologise and/or give a reason.
- If you feel you need to give a reason, don’t lie. Lying will just add to your problems and you have to remember what lie you said and it often can lead to feeling guilty.
- Don’t say “I’ll think about it” or “I’ll get back to you” if you don’t want to do it. It is better to say no upfront than be stressing about it later.
Fifth day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Five Minutes of Relaxation, Mindfulness or Meditation
Mindfulness is about focussing on the present. It has been proven to reduce stress and improve depression and anxiety.
Mindfulness is being aware of what is going on around you. When practising mindfulness you become fully aware of your surroundings while you observe your thoughts, feelings and the sensations of smell, touch and sound.
Benefits of Mindfulness
- Improves your wellbeing – practising mindfulness focuses on the here and now so you are less likely to stress over future worries or past regrets.
- Improves your physical health – scientists have discovered that mindfulness can improve your physical health as it relieves stress, treats heart disease, lowers blood pressure, improves your sleep and can reduce pain.
- Improves your mental health – mindfulness has become important in treating depression and anxiety.
Sixth day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Six Acts of Kindness
This is the time of year to give an act of kindness.
Research has shown that doing even small acts of kindness eg opening the door for someone, can have enormous benefit for both the person being kind as well as the recipient. The studies have also found that performing random acts of kindness is linked to increased happiness.
So look for six acts of kindness that you can do today. Some examples are:
- Donate to an animal shelter either with your time or with food donations
- Donate to a homeless shelter or a domestic violence women’s shelter
- Help a mother with a pram get on or off a bus or train
- Donate your time on Christmas Day to a church providing Christmas lunch to the homeless
- Pay for someone’s coffee in the line behind you
- Contact your local retirement village and see if you can provide anything to the residents. A lot of these people don’t have family that visit them or they don’t receive gifts.
Seventh day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Seven Fun things to Enjoy
While it is great to donate to others less fortunate, it is also your time to enjoy what you love doing.
Take time for yourself to do something that is special for you – read a book, watch Netflix all day, go to the beach, play with your dog. Anything that brings you joy
Eighth day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Eight Hours of Sleep
Studies say adults generally need about eight hours of sleep a night. Generally the quality of your sleep is more important than the quantity and the hours before midnight count more than the hours you sleep after midnight. Not many people these days get a decent night’s sleep. Just like having a good diet and exercising, sleep is important for your overall health.
To help achieve a good night’s sleep, below are some effective sleeping tips:
- Stick to a sleep schedule, even on weekends. Try to go to bed at the same time every night
- Practice 5 minutes of meditation before bed
- Exercise daily
- Make sure your bedroom is an ideal temperature (not too hot), is quiet and there is no light streaming in from outside.
- Sleep on a comfortable mattress and use good quality pillows
- Avoid alcohol and caffeine a few hours before bed
- Keep mobile phones, laptops and TVs out of the bedroom
Ninth day of Christmas I give a gift to me – Nine Minutes of Decluttering
Cleaning might be a chore for many, but decluttering can be cleansing and re-energising. Set yourself a timer for nine minutes and see what you can throw out, donate or relocate to declutter your bedroom space, bathroom vanity and kitchen bench.
Decluttering creates a sense of confidence and self-efficacy. It also utilises your decision making and problem solving skills as you need to make reasonably quick decisions about whether to keep or discard items and where to put them. Doing this successfully can help you feel confident about your decision making skills.
Decluttering and organising can also reduce anxiety, it allows our mind to wander and can sometimes help physically if there is physical activity involved eg heavy lifting.
Tenth day of Christmas I give a gift to me – 10 Minutes of Vitamin D
While too much sun can be harmful to your skin, particularly in Australia, sunlight is still beneficial.
Exposure to sunlight increases the release of a hormone called serotonin which is associated with our moods. If our serotonin levels are too low, there is a higher risk of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which is a form of depression. You are more likely to experience SAD in Winter when the days are shorter or if you live in the northern hemisphere.
Exposure to sunlight allows your body to create Vitamin D which is essential for healthy bones and teeth. Low levels of Vitamin D has been linked to osteoporosis.
So get out in the sunshine for 10 minutes a day – it helps with serotonin levels and Vitamin D levels which is essential for healthy bones and teeth.
Eleventh day of Christmas I give a gift to me – 11 Positive Words of Self Talk
Self-love isn’t about being narcissistic. It is simply about being kind towards ourselves.
Here are some benefits of self-love:
- We accept ourselves unconditionally – including our strengths and weaknesses
- We become responsible for our lives. We recognise that we are the only ones who has the power to change our future, our careers and our relationships
- We let go of any blame, shame, and regrets from our life
- It doesn’t matter what others think or say about us. The only thing that matters is how we feel about ourselves
- We don’t need to prove ourselves to others as we know that we are enough
- We don’t compare ourselves to others
So today, write down 11 things you love about yourself.
Twelfth day of Christmas I give a gift to me – 12 New Experiences for the coming New Year
New experiences help you build confidence, expand your interests and skills, meet new people and much more. Plan one new experience every month for the next year. It can be as grand as skydiving or as small as trying a new food.
Spend today writing a list of things you have always wanted to try. Nothing is off limits.
Challenge yourself and have a wonderful 2022.