Christmas expectations and commitments

Christmas is the season to be jolly apparently – definitely the most awaited and celebrated season all year. Unfortunately for some, this time of the year also brings stress, pressure, and worse, depression due to a whole host of reasons. There is a cultural drive towards excessive spending during this season and many of us feel the need to show family, relatives, friends, co-workers, and sometimes even neighbours how much we love and appreciate them by giving material gifts.

Overwhelm, stress and anxiety are all very manageable. Keep in mind that feeling burdened can have adverse effects on our body. It can drastically affect your mental, emotional, psychological and overall health if left unchecked.

The best plan of defence is a good offence, so use these weeks leading up to the Christmas and New Year to create your strategy.

Plan Ahead

Gifts  – Take a leaf from Santa’s book – make a list and check it twice! Prepare a budget specifically for buying gifts, and list down the people you plan to buy gifts for. Give yourself time to think about other options instead of gifts – can you have friends around for a barbeque or dinner? Gather a large group of people for a picnic in the park? Events that allow people to bring just one plate make great financial sense and take the burden off any one person. Remember, you can be generous without the need to spend beyond your means.

Conflict  – When people come together at times of heightened stress and emotion – such as Christmas – there’s a good chance different personalities will clash. When people are tired, stressed and exhausted, it is not uncommon for them to let their guard down and let their irritability shine through. If you must attend a Christmas gathering and are dreading seeing a family member or old friend there, use this time now to create a vision for the day. Plan other people you can mingle with. If you see that person, plan a polite nod or a friendly greeting. If the tension really is making you anxious and stressed and you know your mental or physical health will suffer, do you know what? It’s okay to do your own thing! Make alternative arrangements to spend your time with people you enjoy being with and who lift you up. That’s what this time of year should be about.

Pay in cash and know when to stop

Credit card debt skyrockets at Christmas and Australians are left paying off presents for most of the next year. While I’m not a financial counsellor by any means, I see most weeks the impact of financial stress on relationships and mental health. After you’ve set your budget in step one, sticking to it is the most critical step.

When you pay in cash, the tangible, physical nature of it can help you reassess if that purchase is necessary. I know I often catch myself adding one more $10 present to a gift and have to stop myself – is the person really going to miss NOT getting it? How much have I spent in ‘just one more gift’ purchases for people?

Keep Calm

Celebration invitations, Secret Santa’s and Christmas day planning can all get a bit much sometimes.

Pause for a while and breathe deeply. Clear your mind from negative thoughts and pressure and choose to focus on the positive. Exercise, do yoga, jog, or take a long walk around the park to help release the tension building up inside. Listen to relaxing music or burn some incense or scented candles to calm your senses.

This process is called mindfulness and is a proven strategy to helping to create a calmer environment. To discuss these tips further or to help overcome a conflict that is worrying you, please contact me at colleen@new.lifestylecounsellingservices.com.au for a tailored solution.